How much time i have to wait?????

Sometimes we want to live our life so fast... like we want all our goals with us soo fast but we don't sit and wait a second to really enjoy life... sometimes the best things in life are the little things.. like spending a good time with your family.. giving love to someone that need it... serving in the church with the heart... and when we don't know we have our goals done and we are enjoyin them and living to wait for the next goals... having goals in life is great.. but sometimes we need to know how to enjoy them and how to work for them..

I actually try to live my life as good as i could but sometimes i just wanna cry bc i feel alone here in Venezuela.. I am the only member in my family for years and i am moho.. its so hard to live just pretending you are straight to everyone.. the family, the work and the church sometimes i think i just pretend i am somone else just to make them happy knowing i am (normal) like they call it.. but honestly i feel happy with what i am.. i feel this is a bless god gave me.. i need to be stronger in so many ways...

Sometimes i really need to be with someone and feel loved.. actually there is a moho in love with me and i love him so much and i love him enough to don't have sex with him just to help him be in heaven with me... you must think i am crazy or stupid.. but this is what i really want..

i just feel alone to don't have him near me now..and its like the goals i was talking... I have a goal to move to utah and live with him... but i am still getting my papers... but i am here in Venezuela enjoying my life and living as good as i could...

I really love the church i was a missionary and i remember my time like one of the best times... When i went to my mission it was hard bc i though maybe god would change me to be straight bc i was going to serve him and i got so frustrated when i couldnt change... and anyways i think we don't change.. we just learn how to live with this.. and this is not a punish this is a great bless! this is what i think about it now...

Patience is a good example from the lord we just need to learn how to live with patience and if we do it we will have all we really want...

I am sorry my english sucks in this blog but i am still learning..

Would you be able to live with a moho without sex?.... This is what i wanna know from all you guys...